A Mute Troubadour

My First Ever Meme, Really!

2005-11-28T11:01:00.000-05:00

I found this meme over at Pat’s. It’s the first time I’ve ever done a meme; but there’s something I liked about this one. That it’s an acrostic maybe? Anyway, here goes:

A is for Age: 52, but just days away from 53.
B is for Booze: Not anymore.
C is for Career: I’m an ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church, but went on incapacity leave 2 ½ years ago. I don’t really want to “run” a church anymore, so I’m looking for other ways to be and do the work of a pastor.
D is for Dad’s name: William, which is my middle name.
E is for Essential items to bring to a party: Food.
F is for Favorite song or music: Music is the air my soul breaths. No favorite song or music, though I tend to play Blues and Rock.
G is for Goof off thing to do: Reading, watching movies on DVD.
H is for Hometown: Indianapolis, IN, where I was born, reared, and lived for 27 years. I grew up in Broad Ripple Village, and really can't imagine living anywhere else in the Indy area. I've even found a house there, which I doubt will be available when we're able to move; it's too perfect: right in heart of Ripple. BR is an arts center and has the reputation of being a hippie haven. Back in the late 60's and early 70's this was very true -- headshops abounded. These days there are more night clubs and resturants, but still a thriving music and art scene. Currently I reside in Newtonsville, OH, but will be moving back to Indy within the next 6-9 months.
I is for Instrument you play: Guitar (electric and acoustic), autoharp, mouth harp, a bit of banjo and mandolin.
J is for Jam or Jelly you like: Grape and apple jelly, and applebutter, which is kind of a jam, isn't it? I mean, when you think about it?
K is for Kids: Two sons, one about to graduate from college, the other from high school.
L is for Living arrangement: My wife, youngest son, and a cat, all in a small house in a village in southern Ohio.
M is for Mom’s name: Francis Marybelle. She goes by Mary. *Can’t imagine why*
N is for Name of best friend: My wife, Linda.
O is for Overnight Stay in a Hospital: Several; the last time for a bout of pneumonia.
P is for Phobias: Having to climb or stand on ladders.
Q is for Quote you like: Hmmm…I have quite a few, but my current favorite is one from Anne Lamont: “Everyone has been having a hard time with life this year; not with all of it, just the waking hours.”
R is for Relationship that lasted longest: That would be with Linda. We’ve been friends since we were 8 and have been married for 32 years.
S is for Siblings: A sister and a brother, both younger.
T is for Texas, ever been?: Yes, indeed. San Antonio is one of my very favorite places on earth. Last time I was there, I stayed at the Menger Hotel. My room overlooked the Alamo. I’ve been fascinated by the battle of the Alamo since I was a kid, so it was thrilling having a room overlooking the spot where two of my childhood heroes, Jim Bowie and Davey Crockett, fought and died. Oh, yeah, and the Menger had this unbelievable breakfast deal: a steak, hash browns, toast, eggs, bacon, a cup of fresh fruit, and coffee for $5.95!
U is for Unique trait: Perfect pitch.
V if for vegetable you love: Fresh corn-on-the-cob slathered with butter and lightly seasoned with salt and pepper.
W is for Worst traits: Impatience and an occasionally explosive temper -- well, I am a firesign, after all (see Z).
X- is for X-rays you’ve had: Lots.
Y is for Yummy food you make: I love to cook. Mexican and Chinese, along with barbeque, roasts, and meatballs (Hawaiian, Italian, and Swedish -- I'm quite cosmopolitan when it comes to meatballs :-)).
Z is for Zodiac sign: Sagittarius.

apocalypse

2005-11-22T00:24:00.000-05:00

i innocently
naively
dangerously
believe that
you know
what you’re doing
because you say so

you say that you do

i enter here
you’re already there
you mistake my surprise
for sympathy
but every look
has two meanings

three on a cloudy day

wind blown words
whirling leaves
miles of sky
empty trees
frost on my windshield
(november’s soul
is a ruby sun
falling in the western sky)

oh yes, you were there
and so was i

i don’t remember
when it stopped
or when i forgot
(or what)
(or why)

but i see this
yes, and hear that
and it’s too much
far too much
because everyday i see my morning
dawn like yesterday
and give away tomorrow
to cancel the past

amen

First U.S. Bird Flu Death Stuns Anaheim

2005-11-16T11:59:00.000-05:00

basho paints new york

2005-11-15T18:02:00.000-05:00

a harmonica moans
in the muggy rawboned night
diminutive
&
other
a dwarf changeling from
the tarnished palladiums
of delta saxophones
blowing their spanish moss
blues on 3 a.m.
subway platforms
amid the muffled thunders
that ripple coffee puddles
on bleak concrete floors
color notes
of purple
&
brown
a pause before
an amber
silence

-dwf, 2005

Revisiting A Mistake

2005-11-15T08:23:00.000-05:00

The other day, I pulled out an old painting I was going to gesso over and start again. I didn't like the direction it was taking. I'd already gessoed part of the canvas, but then put it aside to work on some other things. Looking at it again, I saw it with fresh eyes. I can't recall what I felt I was failing to achieve initially, but it now seems fresh and interesting enough to "pick up where I left off."

It seems I often abort a project rather than allowing it to go where it will. Theoretically (e.g., the aesthetic theory that guides my art) is "free form" or "free style." This itself is a bit misleading, since it requires discipline to refrain from guiding or consciously influencing the direction of the work. The idea is to allow the work to "become", much as a flower blossoms, or clouds form. And that's where I fail: At some point I start trying, unconsciously, to impose direction, meaning, purpose to the work -- the very things that I don't need to do. Poor discipline on my part, and it leads to abandoning a project, and to a heavy sense of creative frustration; to finally giving up altogether any hope of producing a "pure work," one that is because it is, that exists because it must, like a human being.

Visiting NYC this summer helped me regain a sense of proportion in my art, a re-realization of not giving up. In studying the works of masters like Picasso, Klee, Kandinsky, Pollock, and Cézanne -- especially Picasso and Cézanne -- I found myself again; the idea to allow a painting to become what it will, regardless of my notions where it should go. I saw omissions, even weaknesses in composition and execution. But I realized that they kept going until reaching a suitable stopping point.

So, I'm continuing on with this piece, not knowing where where we'll wind up. I hope to make all my projects like this, no more looking over the shoulder, no more second guessing -- no more analysis while in progress. That's death, creative death. And these are disciplines I need to relearn over and over; like prayer.

Like prayer.